Here is an excerpt from Kathleen Parker’s new book, Save the Males, from the Times Online (UK). The book is a plea to recognize that feminism has, in a sense, neutered men in an effort to redress past grievances. Part of this excerpt deals with the availability of pornography and how that has changed the sexual culture, particularly among the young.
From the book:
The casual sex culture prevalent on university campuses – and even in schools – has produced fresh vocabulary to accommodate new ways of relating: “friends with benefits” and “booty call”.
FWB I get, but “booty call”? I had to ask a young friend, who explained: “Oh, that’s when a guy calls you up and just needs you to come over and have sex with him and then go home.”
Why, I asked, would a girl do such a thing? Why would she service a man for nothing – no relationship, no affection, no emotional intimacy?
She pointed out that, well, they are friends. With benefits! But no obligations! Cool. When I persisted in demanding an answer to “why”, she finally shrugged and said: “I have no idea. It’s dumb.”
Guys also have no idea why a girl would do that, but they’re not complaining…
I am an almost free speech absolutist, but one area that I do think Congress should restrict is the online availability of pornography. As a teenager (my teenage years were in the 80s), I got my hands, by luck, and sometimes guile, on a few dirty magazines and porn videotapes. These were treasured possessions that, however misleading, provided a reference point for human sexuality. They did no harm, mainly, I think, because coming into possession of such artifacts was rare. With Internet pornography, the hardest of the hardcore is available at the click of a mouse, at length, and in abundance. If you understand male sexuality – and any average man does – then you know that this is not a good thing. Boys internalize what they see, become obsessed with sex, and seek fantastic and ever more unrealistic modes of sexual expression with girls, who, though they may be exposed, are not prepared.
My point? This stuff is for grown-ups (who have their own problems with it). It is not for the warping of 14 year-old minds. We used to have some standards of decency in this country. If Americans will not voluntarily embrace them, then Congress must act. Doing so will benefit boys and girls, men and women.