Exclusive: Why Does Obama Hate God?

My sources in the McCain campaign have forwarded me the transcript of a commercial they plan to air on Monday night before the election in a last-minute ad blitz they hope will turn the tide. It begins:

Ominous, vaguely Islamic-sounding music. Photo of smiling Barack Obama giving the middle finger to an elderly white lady.

Voice of Concern: Have you heard about the secret plans for us hatched between Barack Obama and his shady, Chicago, Islamo-Socialist Muslim 9/11 Terrorist friends?

Pic of a brave-looking Rudy Giuliani against a backdrop of 9/11. Written quote: “Islamo-Socialism? That’s worse than Islamo-Fascism.”

Voice of Concern: Have you heard the stories about Barack Obama having sex with Israeli children and then eating them?

Photo of shirtless Obama with blood dripping from his mouth over the prone body of a little Hasid boy. Behind him, obscured, but clearly naked, Michelle Obama looking angry and demanding.

Voice of Concern: Have you heard that Barack Obama bears the number of the beast?

Photo of a shirtless Obama performing fiery blood/sex rituals before a writhing crowd of naked half-man, half-animal creatures. Quote super imposed: “Here is wisdom. Let he who has understanding calculate the number of the Beast; for his number is that of a man; and his number is 666”. Rev:13:18.

Voice of Confidence: In this time of crisis, we need a leader who loves the real America, not the godless, Islamic terrorist, media elite, anti-Christian, anti-gun and oil, Satan worshiping, homosexual, child molesters who would destroy our constitution and free market system and the whole world as we know and love it.

Oh, and did you notice? (whisper) He’s black. (black echoes, growing louder)

So the question you have to ask yourself is, why does Barack Obama hate God?

Voice of McCain: I’m John McCain and I approved this message because on Tuesday, November 4, you must choose between good and evil. And I am good.

Lacks subtlety, huh?

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One Response to Exclusive: Why Does Obama Hate God?

  1. tessa says:

    Love it! Great post.

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