The Sound of Music!

The Sound of Music is the greatest movie ever made. I haven’t gotten around to ranking the ten best movies but the Sound of Music is my number one. What? I’m a giant pussy, you say?

Think about it. It’s got everything. The beautiful and conflicted nun Fraulein Maria (played by my favorite actress of all time, Julie Andrews). Great songs, Salzburg, the Austrian countryside, Christopher Plummer (who’s got a new memoir out and apparently was quite the “plumber” himself. (I know, lame.)) It’s got Nazi bad guys, a chase scene, and, did I mention, the incomparable, perfect Julie Andrews?

Growing up, my secret dream was to have Julie Andrews as my governess.

Anyway, I turn on the TV and I’m watching it right now on ABC and it’s the scene where the Baroness Schrader confronts Fraulein Maria and leaves shamed by Maria’s honesty and seductive innocence. The Baroness is the lessor woman and she knows it. But she quickly recovers, because she thinks that she has won her man.

Oh, then the excruciating scene where she tries to bond with the children by tossing a ball around. She tells Max that she’s going to ship them off to boarding school once she’s landed Georg.

Next you’ve got Captain Von Trapp walking around everyday wearing that strange quasi military jacket with green velvet lapels and having that strange whimsical reaction to his own emotional torment at Maria having left. He tells the kids that he and the Baroness are to be married and they line up in silence to pay their respects.

God, what a great movie. I’ll admit that the “I am sixteen, you are seventeen” song sucks enormously. And the love song in the gazebo after Georg finally makes his move is also a tad wanting, but I just pretend that I am Captain Von Trapp and the virginal Fraulein Maria is falling in love with me.

Speaking of which, how can Von Trapp be a naval captain in the Austria? It’s a landlocked country! Look, I know there was a port in Trieste that was part of the Hapsburg empire, and probably some other access to water somewhere on their turf, but with those green lapels and Edelweiss and all, you get the sense he was out cruising that lake behind the house rather than sinking U-boats, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, the Anschluss happens and that world class dick Rolf starts showing up again.

Here, as an aside, are the top five songs from the movie.

5) So Long, Farewell
5) Climb Every Mountain
4) The Lonely Goatherd (the puppet show scene)
3) The Sound of Music (the hills are alive)
2) My Favorite Things
1) Do-Re-Mi (doe, a deer)

Then the Captain and Maria return from their honeymoon. And I really believe I see a change in Maria. She’s a woman now. The implications of penetration and physical intimacy, previously unknown to her, have changed her. She was already the perfect woman and she has become, in a month, the perfect wife. She is also a mother, a responsibility she takes seriously.

Anyway, they sing at the festival. They knock it out of the park. Everyone loves it. Julie Andrews sings like a angel.

And they escape! The chase is on…

Right from the beginning of the movie you knew Rolf was a weasel. For that matter, I never really like Liesl. She is easily…well, I was going to say she was my least favorite Von Trapp child, but Kurt doesn’t do it for me either. At any rate, Rolf is a weak-chinned Nazi wannabe. Sickening. But they escape again from the convent after he finds them and…

Climb every mountain, ford every stream, follow every rainbow…til you find your dream…

#1, jack! You got that right.


3 Responses to The Sound of Music!

  1. Matt Rafat says:

    If your future children read this one day and don’t kill themselves on the spot, consider yourself a lucky man.

  2. Matt Rafat says:

    Sorry if the last comment sounded harsh–it was intended to be funny, but something was lost in translation.

  3. nahnopenotquite says:

    Matt – No worries. I laughed.

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