Older Men, Reproduction, and Resentment

It’s a beautiful day in New York so I’m not going to write a long (or, many will argue, well thought-out) post for this issue, but I will just say I am consistently amazed at the resentment among privileged, educated women at men generally, and, I’m guessing, at their husbands specifically.

Reading the New York Times Magazine and a piece within by Lisa Belkin, essentially calling for men to be riven by the same age and time pressure as women when in comes to reproduction. She cites several studies that promote the idea that older men have children with more problems – lower IQs, autism, etc. Assuming that the studies rigorously controlled for other factors (which is always a legitimate concern in studies of this kind) like environment and mothers’ age, correlation doesn’t imply causation.

It seems more likely to me that older dads are simply too tired to supply the extra stimulation to boost their childrens’ IQs by two or three points.

In any case, Belkin goes off on an embittered riff about men having “sell by” dates and hoping that women will now begin to judge them in the same way women are judged.

Good luck, sister.

And while you’re at it, quit complaining. The choices of the modern woman are what women have been fighting for for decades, right? Furthermore, she isn’t really at war with men or the culture, she’s at war with biology, but doesn’t seem to realize it.

Reproduction is the purpose of life. If you don’t want to have kids, don’t have them. But if you do, quit complaining. The world has had enough of these latter-day feminists whining about the burdens of motherhood. She writes of the stereotype of “women eager to settle down and men as reluctant” as though their were no truth in it; as though women are not the primary drivers of our reproductive dyad. It’s just silly.

Lisa, women – you want babies and are anatomically constructed to grow and nurture them. Get used to it already. In fact, revel in it. It’s the point of your existence – not, and this is true of men as well, whatever pathetic career you pursue until you die and everyone forgets you ever existed.

Even if it turns out to be true that sperm loses some potency as men age, it does not change the sexual dynamic. Men can reproduce well beyond the age when women can. Fecundity is sexually attractive. Ipso facto, men are attractive to the opposite sex for longer than women are. That’s why women go for the “silver-haired sex symbols,” and why old ladies can’t get a date.

What can you do? Life sucks.

One can only imagine what its like to live with a woman like this. Carefully charting up chores and duties to make sure they’re split 50/50 and resenting it the whole way; seething about breastfeeding and having the primary role as the caregiver because she is “mommy.”

Eeesh. I pity her poor husband.


3 Responses to Older Men, Reproduction, and Resentment

  1. forny says:

    Well said, brother. It really is true that women are NEVER satisfied.

  2. Kate Schock says:

    I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you missed the points made in both articles written by women for consumption by women. It’s not your fault, men don’t understand female writers and vice versa. It’s the eternal male/female split. Oh, and the reason that young women hang out with silver haired sex symbols isn’t for their sperm, it’s for the power and money (mostly $$$)! By the way, who says old women can’t get dates? I’m sure that (if you are married) your wife is one lucky woman!

  3. nahnopenotquite says:

    Kate – I understood her points all-too-well, I’m afraid (of course from my male perspective), and that’s why it’s such a disappointing piece. Wishing ill will towards men is hateful, period (imagine a piece written by a man as callously gleeful about a woman’s reproductive deterioration and you’ll see my point). I’m sorry that Belkin perceives that women are burdened by biology. I happen to disagree. As far as old women getting dates, I just go by what I read and personal anecdotal evidence. If old women CAN get dates, then they REALLY ought to stop complaining – Maureen Dowd first among them. Lastly, I believe what you write about $$$ is true, at least partially. I think for most younger women to date/marry older men, the $$$ are important but that the women genuinely fall in love and also, often, really want children. To think otherwise would be horrifying and, obviously, would not reflect well on the gender.

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