Paternity Rights: Losing Fatherhood

Saturday, November 21, 2009

I can’t believe how angry I am over this. Just finished an article in the NY Times magazine about cuckolded men raising children who are not their own. The article, Who Knew I Was Not the Father?, written by an adjunct professor at Columbia, is almost completely unsympathetic to the plight of men who have raised children to whom that have no genetic tie.

I am incensed. Livid. Apoplectic. The article cites several men who have sought to stop child support upon finding out only to be shot down by the courts in the interest of the child.

In the main case, the biological father is married (years later) to the mother and has no legal support obligations for his child. The cuckolded man does. It’s a bloody outrage.

Not once, in the entire article, does this hack take issue with the duplicity of the mother, the person solely responsible for the fraud, and the person (w/ the biological father) who should be entirely responsible for the financial support of the child. Where is that article? What kind of person does this to a man and, more importantly, to a child? Does this reflect upon her qualifications to be a parent? Shouldn’t these women be stripped of their children?

The answer, it seems, is no. Because it will upset the child. The author cites a lobbyist (now fighting against these women), who abandoned his child and won the right to have no financial obligations. She makes him sound like a monster. She quotes his young adult “daughter” as confused and damaged and mentions the suffering she endured because her “father” abandoned her.

WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING MOTHER?

She’s not even mentioned. And, one presumes, the daughter doesn’t blame her.

Some advocates now suggest that there be mandatory paternity tests for all fathers at birth to avoid this problem. THIS IS ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL. The entire tone of the article suggests a kind of mystification as to why these men would be so upset about this.

Really?

I mean, really?

P.S. On a related note, as I have written before, men should have the right to opt out of financial support for a child during the same time period that a woman can choose to abort the fetus. Figure out for yourself why this is fair and just.

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Link Rodeo

Friday, April 17, 2009

I apologize for posting so sporadically. Here’s some of what I’ve been reading lately:

Record unemployment in NC and California. Rising everywhere else. [Calculated Risk]

Bond market warning of worse to come. [WSJ via The Pragmatic Capitalist]

One month T-Bill at .01%. Hmmm? [Zero Hedge]

Gripping account of an effective U.S Army ambush of the Taliban in Afghanistan. [New York Times]

The anti-Goldman Sachs. This guys is being sued by GS and is counter suing. Juicy reading. [GoldmanSachs666.com]

What do women want? (This is a few weeks old now) [New York Times]


Older Men, Reproduction, and Resentment

Sunday, April 5, 2009

It’s a beautiful day in New York so I’m not going to write a long (or, many will argue, well thought-out) post for this issue, but I will just say I am consistently amazed at the resentment among privileged, educated women at men generally, and, I’m guessing, at their husbands specifically.

Reading the New York Times Magazine and a piece within by Lisa Belkin, essentially calling for men to be riven by the same age and time pressure as women when in comes to reproduction. She cites several studies that promote the idea that older men have children with more problems – lower IQs, autism, etc. Assuming that the studies rigorously controlled for other factors (which is always a legitimate concern in studies of this kind) like environment and mothers’ age, correlation doesn’t imply causation.

It seems more likely to me that older dads are simply too tired to supply the extra stimulation to boost their childrens’ IQs by two or three points.

In any case, Belkin goes off on an embittered riff about men having “sell by” dates and hoping that women will now begin to judge them in the same way women are judged.

Good luck, sister.

And while you’re at it, quit complaining. The choices of the modern woman are what women have been fighting for for decades, right? Furthermore, she isn’t really at war with men or the culture, she’s at war with biology, but doesn’t seem to realize it.

Reproduction is the purpose of life. If you don’t want to have kids, don’t have them. But if you do, quit complaining. The world has had enough of these latter-day feminists whining about the burdens of motherhood. She writes of the stereotype of “women eager to settle down and men as reluctant” as though their were no truth in it; as though women are not the primary drivers of our reproductive dyad. It’s just silly.

Lisa, women – you want babies and are anatomically constructed to grow and nurture them. Get used to it already. In fact, revel in it. It’s the point of your existence – not, and this is true of men as well, whatever pathetic career you pursue until you die and everyone forgets you ever existed.

Even if it turns out to be true that sperm loses some potency as men age, it does not change the sexual dynamic. Men can reproduce well beyond the age when women can. Fecundity is sexually attractive. Ipso facto, men are attractive to the opposite sex for longer than women are. That’s why women go for the “silver-haired sex symbols,” and why old ladies can’t get a date.

What can you do? Life sucks.

One can only imagine what its like to live with a woman like this. Carefully charting up chores and duties to make sure they’re split 50/50 and resenting it the whole way; seething about breastfeeding and having the primary role as the caregiver because she is “mommy.”

Eeesh. I pity her poor husband.


Infuriating

Friday, January 23, 2009

Everything I read in the paper this morning is infuriating to me.

David Brooks writes of the pork laden stimulus bill coming out the House. I need to read more about it, but it seems like a disgraceful piece of Congressional crap. Obama must veto and veto again until they get it right.

Also on the op-ed page, Robert Zoellick wants more money for developing countries. Why? So it can be pissed away into the Swiss bank account of the son of some tyrant? So he can drive a Mercedes and wear a gold watch? How many years has the world been pouring money into Africa, for instance? Where is the real, lasting improvement?

Then, inside, I read about a youth detention center that guards essentially ran as a criminal racket. A boy died and now his mother is suing the city for $20 million. That’s my money. I don’t want this woman (and her ambulance chaser) to get rich because of these jackasses.

Further in, a woman named Susan Dominus writes a column about Caroline Kennedy’s failed bid for the Senate. Her point seems to be that CK deserved a shot (even though she was the wrong woman) because it would have demonstrated that women who have been out of the workplace to raise kids can still do the job. T.S., honey. How about giving me a shot at the Senate seat? Because I work, I don’t deserve it? This bit about women not getting opportunities in the workplace after the kids is so tired and vaginocentric that it’s offensive. Hey, I’d love a high paying job that I’m not trained for and haven’t given any thought to in 20 years (Sarah Palin, anyone?). Isn’t making money to support children beneficial to society? Didn’t I learn valuable managerial skills? (Btw, did you notice Paterson actually appointed a qualified person to the job?…and she has a vagina!) I bet there are a lot of working women who found CK’s chutzpah off-putting.

Wait a sec, I have an idea.

I write a blog. I want to be appointed to Susan Dominus’s job. I’ve never been a reporter, per se, but I’ve done a lot of similar work in the writing type field. I know I can do a great job. And hey, she’s a woman. Shouldn’t there be more men writing her column?

Sorry. There’s more, but I’ve run out of gas. Maybe I’m just in a bad mood, but these people are destroying my sense of hope.


Bonus Day at Goldman Sachs

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

It’s happening.

They took $10 billion in taxpayer money and are handing it out to their employees in the form of year-end bonuses, in some cases, worth millions of dollars.

And a lot of them are complaining about it.

Contact New York State Attorney General Andrew Cuomo and let him know how you feel about Wall Street rewarding failure with your money. Also let him know that if he acts, you’ll support him for Hillary’s vacant Senate seat.

You can also contact your representatives here.


Capsule Critique: Her Body, My Baby

Monday, December 1, 2008

Her Body, My Baby by Alex Kuczynski was the cover story in the magazine section of the New York Times this weekend. It was about the gestational surrogacy of her baby. Here is my capsule critique:

1) It’s not in the top ten most-emailed articles. There can only be one reason for this. Women didn’t read it. It’s a rare process so maybe they couldn’t relate, but my guess? The cover turned them off. Here it is for your viewing pleasure. One glance and you can see the mental claws come out.

2) The cover gives a fair approximation of the entitled sensibility of the article. I learned that AK had a wonderful experience and not too much angst (but some) over the whole thing, and has the side benefit of still looking great. She is married to a wealthy investor (with two previous marriages under his belt) who is twenty years older than her. They have homes in, at minimum, South Hampton, Idaho, and New York City (with a big Steinway in the Manhattan pad).

3) She also had a number of miscarriages and failed IVFs. In that sense, many women can relate to her.

4) She now has a healthy baby boy.

5) You cannot read this article without some sense of hatred for this woman. Whether it’s the photos, the small, unnecessary indications of her wealth, or her carefully concealed and yet inescapable condescension, it feels like a triumphal lap meant to provoke envy.


The Spirit of the American Woman

Thursday, September 4, 2008

My friend Lizzie Berne DeGear sent an email. I thought I’d pass it along:

Last night I saw the Spirit of the American Woman in action. I saw strength and beauty and what it means to be tough, yet graceful, in the face of adversity. I saw a beautiful American family center stage displaying the power of family values and I cheered them on! I watched with pride as history unfolded and revealed the True America.

I was watching Venus and Serena Williams at the US Open.