Walking in New York City

I have one supernatural ability. Known to only a few close friends and my family, but revealed to you now. Whenever I am walking on the streets of New York City, I am able to attract, like gravity, people who are walking in front of me.

As you might guess, this power is more than a little frustrating, but works, like gravity, without exception. The old, the obese, the infirm, the tourists, and everyone else all drift directly into my path as I try to pass them. What makes them do so? I have long wondered, but now accept this power as a simple metaphysical fact. The people in New York City are just going to be in my way.

They can walk straight, but cannot resist the strength of my gravitational pull. It’s as though they sense me coming up behind them and say to themselves, “oh, look, here he comes, I’m going to get in his way and make sure that he has to stop, slow down, or, at least, change direction.” I’ve come to realize that they are helpless to resist. And I have accepted my power and hope, one day, to channel it for good.

I certainly will never knock anyone over, however tempting that might be. No, there is a reason for this power and I must find it. So get in my way New York. Together we can get to the root of a supernatural mystery.

P.S. I meant to write about this last week when I read this brilliant op-ed piece by David Rakoff. I felt that he might understand my plight.